At some point in our lives, it is highly likely that we will experience a period of extreme upheaval. When nothing seems to go right, or as planned. Unexpected events occur for which we are totally unprepared. Indeed, it can seem at these times, as if the very fabric of our lives is being torn apart or thrown upside down. Particularly, when experiencing traumatic life events; such as financial hardship, bereavement, divorce, redundancy or a potentially life threatening illness.
As Individuals, we all cope with difficult situations differently. Often no one knows how they will react to stress and adversity, until something happens or goes wrong to test them. One of the most important things to do, is to not be afraid to reach out and ask for help. But, you would be surprised how difficult this can be for many people. This can be for a variety of reasons. But primarily I believe it is a matter of pride and ego. Particularly for those who find it very difficult to admit to others, that they are unable to cope. For they believe to do so, would be an admission of weakness and failure. Whereas I believe nothing could be further from the truth. It can take great deal of courage for someone to admit that they need help. Keeping quiet and just allowing things to deteriorate because of pride, shows weakness of character, rather then strength.
Loss of any kind can be one of the biggest challenges we can face in our lives. Be it loss of a loved one through bereavement or the loss of a partner when a relationship breaks down. Indeed, separation and divorce, can also feel like a bereavement, because it is the death of something, that was for a long time a massive part of our lives. Coming to terms with that loss takes time. As human beings emotional pain is something we find very hard to cope with. Unlike a physical injury, which can be painful at first, but gets better within a certain time period. Grief, the pain of loss can seem to go on and on with no end in sight. We try to numb ourselves to it’s affects, by doing anything to distract ourselves. Rather then facing our pain and allowing ourselves to feel it.
The truth is that pain is one of our greatest teachers, hurt can be a birth, and our sufferings are the portals to change. This being true, we need to know how to grieve, to mourn, to shed our tears, because grief is the cure for the pain of loss. Tears are the medicine of grieving. For it is only by shedding our tears and talking about our feelings of loss and pain do we actually come through it to the other side. When we suppress something, it simply festers below the surface and can in some cases manifest itself as a physical illness or mental health problem.
Sometimes in life, things will happen, that are outside of our control. It is also true that when we make mistakes, awful though it can be at the time. It is often an incredibly steep learning curve for us, and one from which we can learn some very valuable lessons. I believe, if people could see that their life circumstances, challenging though they may be, are opportunities for growth; it would change their perspective and attitude to life in a positive way; helping to restore their shaken self confidence. One could also look at it another way. Life rarely falls apart in this way, unless for quite a while things have not been going well.
The reasons for this can be many. From making unwise and ill thought out decisions to poor life choices or lack of care for themselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Eventually, the result of living our lives like this will have an impact. Like a house of cards, if the foundations are shaky, the cards will fall down. If we view our lives like this. Great change and upheaval, can be used as the perfect opportunity, to start afresh and rebuild our lives from scratch in a much better way. When things fall down, pick yourself up and dust yourself down and start again. I believe as human beings, we are at our best when we are challenged. Rise again from the ashes of your life, like the mystical Phoenix, and soar to greater heights.